Grenade Dodgeball and Halloween
by sakuraflower101
Summary: The title says it all... And this is late... my poor laptop broke. Hope you enjoy though!


* * *

Sitting in his room, bored out of his mind, Ichigo heard a knock on his window. Slowly, he grabbed Kon, who protested vehemently as he was put against the cold window. There where shadows outside of his window… Which happened to be on the second floor of his house…

"Open the damned window Ichigo!!!" an unrecognizable female voice screamed.

Silently, he opened the window. Rukia, Orihime, Ishida, and Chad jumped through the opened window, which wasn't even completely opened. Ichigo had had enough.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!?!"

"Cookies." said Orihime, who was then distracted by a fly that buzzed past her.

"I heard from Orihime that today the Human World celebrates a holiday." Rukia said.

"I believe it was called… Halloween?" she asked.

"Yes Rukia-san, it's called Halloween," said Ishida, pushing up his glasses slightly.

"And on this holiday… you wear costumes?"

"Yes, all sorts of costumes!" said Orihime excitedly.

"So tomorrow we will all wear costumes. I bought some for you already!" said Rukia, pulling a crumpled heap of clothes from the bag she had been carrying.

Five costumes lay on the ground. A tiger, which appeared more like a house cat, a chicken, some sort of fat creature with an antennae, a banana, and something that resembled Rukia's crude drawings of rabbits...oh the irony...

"Ichigo, you get the tigress, sorry, but they didn't have any male tiger." she said.

A vein popped out on Ichigo's forehead (Anime style!!!) as she handed him the costume, which also appeared to be a few sizes too small.

"Orihime, you get the-" Rukia was beginning to say before Orihime grabbed the chicken costume and hugged it tightly to her chest.

"Hehe, it seems you like that one. It's a good thing I had picked that for you, or else Ishida or Chad might be wearing a women's costume that was too small," Rukia said, grinning.

"Ishida, you get the… thing." she said.

She handed him the odd looking costume, which apparently no one knew what it actually was.

" Chad , you get the banana!" said Orihime, already dressed in the chicken costume.

"Right…" said Chad .

He received the costume, smiling weakly, trying hard to show gratitude.

"And I get a custom-made costume! Made by me!!" she said, showing everyone the badly sewn, horrible, creepy looking costume.

"OK everyone, see you tomorrow!" she said.

She turned to face Ichigo, who was trying to rip a leg off of the tigress costume.

"You'd better wear that tomorrow." she threatened.

_The next day:_

Embarrased, Ichigo walked to school, watching people laugh at him, and his precious reputation go down the drain. The same went for Ishida and Chad , however Rukia and Orihime skipped happily to school, carefree. Upon arriving, nearly immediately they were given _detention_. The day passed horribly for the guys, yet the other two were actually enjoying themselves, despite what horrors waited for them in detention.

_After school detention:_

"Alright ya' bunch of misfits, get to work. And you five, in the costumes, come see me. " said the detention teacher.

They went up to him, as he asked, but they trudged there, and it took nearly five minutes for them to arrive at his desk.

"Going 'trick-or treating' huh?...You five wore costumes to school like babies, and now ya'll will be treated like babies." he said with a threatening tone.

"SNACK TIME!!!" screamed the detention teacher, hauling away the quintet of idiots to the cafeteria.

"Now, ya'll can stay here by yourselves, but I have cameras, and I'll be watching." he said, walking away.

As soon as he went to the security room to watch the cafeteria's camera, he fell asleep. While he snored and drooled on the cameras, chaos ensued.

"WE AREN'T BABIES!!! WE DON'T NEED A DAMN SNACK!" screamed Ichigo, standing up and knocking his bowl of cookies onto Orihime's head.

She simply ate the cookies, and continued on staring at a light.

Suddenly mysterious music began to play out of no where..."Dun Dun Dunnnn" went the music...

Then, two mysterious people entered the cafeteria, each with a covered cardboard box in hand. One had long pitch black hair, and charcoal eyes, like pools of darkly pigmented ink, and had all black clothes, fishnets on her arms, and an aqua butterfly on her black shirt. The other was more _oddly _dressed; she had neon green hair with black streaks in it, blood red eyes, a layered purple shirt, and paint splattered, faded jeans.

"Hey, Sayuri… Do you think we should really be giving them these?" whispered the colorful girl a bit too loudly to the gothic girl.

"Shut up, Sumi," said Sayuri, as they carefully set down their boxes near the costumed teens.

"Who the hell are you guys? And Whats with the music?" asked Ichigo

"It's Our theme song!!!!" Said Sayuri

"I don't know… I guess you could say we're_ mysterious, random_ strangers." said Sumi.

"We're here to help you guys have some fun." said Sayuri.

"With grenades." added Sumi.

"SHH!!!"

"Oh… right." said Sumi absent-mindedly.

"Well, we want you guys to have a game of grenade dodge ball, the winner gets a super cool prize." said the goth Sayuri, opening the boxes.

"Uh, sure." they all said in unison.

"Ok, cool!" said Sumi, clapping excitedly.

"Alrighty, here are the rules." said Sumi, suddenly getting a dark look on her face.

"Number one, there are no rules." she said, smiling again.

"Have fun!" they both said as they ran to a safe distance.

Running back, Sumi and Sayuri quickly divided them into teams.

" Orihime , Chad , you'll be on one team." said Sayuri.

"The rest of you will be on another… I would play, but I… umm, would prefer not to get hit with a grenade." Sumi said sheepishly.

"Ok, you may begin!" they said, already behind a cardboard fort.

Scratching his head, Ichigo picked up a grenade from the basket and pulled the pin idiotically.

"THROW IT!" shrieked Rukia, cowering slightly.

He did as he was told, but it landed in the trash can, which happened to be next to the pathetic cardboard fort that Sumi and Sayuri were hiding behind.

"Damn, I was hoping this piece of junk would last more than a minute," Sayuri said, jumping to her feet.

"Alright, listen up children, I can easily pull a pin on a grenade, and toss it back in the box. Do you want that to happen? Because bad things will happen." she said darkly.

"Next time that occurs, I will eliminate you-"

"With cookies." interrupted Sumi.

"Shut the hell up, and go play on Orihime's team." she said, pointing at Orihime.

Sumi happily skipped towards Orihime, and greeted her warmly, despite the fact that a "war" was going on.

"BEGIN!"

Ichigo, being closest to the grenade box, reached for one when he was pulled into his inner world.

_Ichigo's Inner World_

"Heya king." said his hollow, nonchalantly.

"Let me play for awhile." he said, grinning like a maniac.

Before Ichigo could answer, his hollow had already taken control. His hollow grabbed a grenade and pulled the pin, but felt a sharp pain in his back...

_"Damn, I guess playing Twister with Zangetsu was a bad idea…" _he thought as he accidentally dropped the grenade, which was about to explode.

And so it did explode at his feet, while he was trying to loosen the cramp in his back.

"Hey king, you can have control back," he said, breathing heavily.

Ichigo was thrust into the grenade fight, but he realized he was missing a leg on his costume, which made him officially half nude.

"Hahahaha!!" Sumi said, laughing hysterically.

"Everyone. look at Ichigo!!"

While everyone was distracted laughing at Ichigo, Ulquiorra was hiding, peering through the window, taking notes on the catastrophe.

"Hmm, it appears the human boy and his friends are attempting suicide…"

Just then, after Sauyri had finished yelling at Ichigo, screaming at him for being half nude in a school cafeteria, she tossed a grenade at the window, but it landed just below it, causing it to collapse. Ulquiorra fell in, and no one seemed to notice.

"Sumi, switch with the arrancar that just fell in."

"Now children, you can use your powers… but just remember, you can't kill… that'd be no fun." said Sayuri.

"Aww, come on. I may be completely and utterly powerless, but just let me try my hand swinging a sword," she said, grinning.

"Remember that time… that you don't like for me to discuss?" Sayuri said, reminding Sumi of… a time…

"Oh, uh… yeah…" said Sumi, stepping away from the "battlefield".

"YOU KNOW, YOU COULD'VE STARTED ALREADY??" Sayuri said, waving her arms in exasperation.

"Hinagiku, Baigon, Lily! Santen Kesshun, I reject!" said Orihime.

"Woman, if you are to do that, at least come over here. I do not wish to be disintegrated." Ulquiorra said calmly.

"Umm…"

"Hey! You there!" shouted Sumi.

"Yes?" responded Ulquiorra.

"She's trying to say you freak her out! Oh, and hey… INCOMING!" she screamed as a grenade landed in Ulquiorra's hands.

"Here woman, dispose of this," he said, handing her the grenade.

"Ahh… umm… catch?" she said, throwing it back at Ulquiorra.

It soon turned into a game of hot potato, until Sumi ran, got the grenade, and threw it at Rukia.

"Wha-" Rukia began to say.

"YOU DUMBASS, THROW IT BEFORE IT EXPLO-" Sayuri began to say.

Before she could finish, however, the grenade exploded. When the smoke cleared, Rukia was on the ground… in a pool of ketchup. A box full of ketchup had exploded, and she had landed on it, somehow cushioning her fall. Despite her fall being lessened, she suffered injuries that were minor, however kept her from playing.

"Sumi, you're in on Ichigo's team… don't go fangirl on him though, I think that creeps him out." Sayuri said.

Sumi sprinted over to him and jumped on him, squealing the whole time.

"Bankai!" said Ichigo.

He easily pushed Sumi off of him. She was on the floor, giggling and grinning for about five minutes. Ichigo was pissed, he didn't like fangirls…

"Damn fangirl." he muttered.

"Sayuri… can I have a stick please?" asked Sumi.

"Suuuure…" she said, tossing a stick she found on the floor to Sumi.

Sumi picked up a grenade, but didn't pull the pin. Instead, she hid it in her… bra, so she could have the last grenade. But, to make it look even, she put another one in.

"Getsuga Tenshou!" shouted Ichigo.

Even though he had meant to hit Ulquiorra, he accidentally hit Sayuri. Bad things would happen now.

"DAMMIT ICHIGO!!!! THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SHIRT!!" shrieked Sayuri.

"SUMI, GET THOSE GRENADES OUT OF YOUR BRA!"

"Ok… as I promised, children, bad things will happen. But, since only Ichigo did it, he's the only one who will be severely punished," she said calmly, pulling the loose threads off her shirt.

"Sumi, take care of this." she said, grinning evilly.

And bad things did happen to Ichigo… very bad things I can't speak about.

"The rest of you, come with me! Super cool prizes for all!" she said.

She pulled out a bag of candy, which seemed like a huge disappointment to most. Except Orihime, she was distracted again.

"These are special candy. Eat them and see what happens!" said Sumi, coming back from the secluded area of the cafeteria where she had been... taking care of Ichigo.

"Where's Ichigo?" asked Ishida.

"Don't ask…" said Sumi, blushing.

Each one of them except for Sumi and Sayuri took a candy. Ichigo crawled to the candy bag slowly and attempted to get a candy, but Sumi laughed maniacally and dragged him away.

The candy's effect made Ulquiorra hallucinate… in other words, it was as if he was very drunk. Very, very, very drunk.

"Hmmm…. mmm… PURPLE CHICKENS!!!" he screamed.

He was so out of it, Sayuri touched his shoulder and he went flying out the window.

Orihime, on the other hand, suddenly became extremely obsessed with Ulquiorra's footprints.

"I found out what these where." said Orihime proudly.

"What?" they all asked in unison.

"Dog tracks!" said Orihime, peering out the window.

She found more footprints on the ground, and jumped out to go "inspect" them.

"Ichigo won't learn his lesson. I had to use extreme measures… in other words-" Sumi began to say, before Ichigo came and dragged her away.

Screams followed, but no one seemed to pay attention. Everyone's candy made them in some way insane, and somehow, they all fell out the window… somehow.

* * *

Sayuri: Ahh, that was a good workout.

Sumi: Yeah!!! I feel energized!!!

Kyo Sohma: WHAT THE HELL?!?!

Sumi: *gasp* IT'S THE EVIL PUMPKIN HEAD!!!

Sayuri: NO sumi..it's kyo sohma from "fruits basket"...

Ichigo: ohhhh i thought it was an orange....

Sayuri: Like you're one to talk...

Sumi: Hey!!! That's not fair!!! Ichigo has the freedom of speech!!!

Sumi: He's still a bit traumatized from the story I believe...

Kyo: Then so does my ass!!!

Sumi: GASP AGAIN!!!! A talking ass?

Sayuri: Don't make fun of kyo like that!!!!

Sumi: Don't make fun of Ichigo like that!!!  
Sayuri and Sumi:._..this means war...grenade war..._


End file.
